Have come a long way

For so long I have felt that
I have always been…

There were tough times, hard situations to face,
an option somewhere existed which could make you go back
But then you were scared to go back, because
You were afraid of what you would face.

This…is not what I am here to say.

Since the last few months being like this, until now
I have made many a mistakes, but somehow
convinced myself with facts that i have done none,
just to believe you force it.

…not what I am here to say again.

I have been in to many a situations, where
i was tried and tested.
Somehow I always shut the door of my mind,
This time its open, wide open
for an uncomfortable guest.

This Is what I am Here to Say

Like a sound from light, I realize,
It is that time
Which is still running,

Running away from me, from you and from us.

ps: The fest is over!

Been there, done that

…and felt this before.

The feeling is familiar, but then i have not felt it in a while. It just comes and goes, and stays for sometime to make me feel guilty. To make me feel better (and also guilty), by remembering the good old days. I am many things but not the one which i am. And what i am is good enough for now, for me, for you and for all. For some reason me being like this is justified, or rather for some things and someone. Things may not work for us the way we want, but they are for the good of all of us. What comes out of my mouth, may not be truth, may not be what i mean. My actions may not be for the good. It sounds and feels miserable.

Have i said too much?

But then don worry what comes out of my mouth is nothing to worry about.

ps: It may not seem right or true… But it s true, it is true. Is it?

Kallege!

hmm.. two days since i got back here.. its so unusual to be in college at this time when almost everyone has gone back home for sem hols and just a bunch of jobless guys are here!

had gone to almost all the places where i liked to go.. continuously sat in octa for 14 hrs!! hmm wat else? kept checking mail during that time.. tried a lot to blog.. but could not! or forced myself not to write some crap here.. started writing technical stuf.. its good and fun! you get to noe a lot of things! actually this post is not required.. it does not mean anything.. i m writing this bcoz i had to write that.. so thats why i am chaating u so much.!!! even i m bored.. not because there is noone here though!

btw saw “the amityville” yesterday again! glenn almost pissed in his pants! he was so scared that he kept the lights open through out the night and even asked me to accompany him to the toilet which is just two rooms away! btw i even heard some noises at night.. while sleeping.. dint bother abt them at that time.. might be his!

chalo its time to get back to work..

ps: i hate it when my closest friends lie to me!

arbit – 2!

another arbit post of mine…thinking what to write..don have anything to say today..well today is one of those days wen u have lot of things revolving around in ur head but u don noe where to start from…wat to say..how to frame things…lot of questions…but too confused…so exactly don noe…wats bothering u more…guess the fact that u want to be bothered by these things intentionally may be a dominating factor…anyway i don noe…its just arbit!! have loads of work…guess will get back now…!!! gn..

ps : do ppl forget things so fast! and so easily?

WHY?

“wats wrong with me?”

well this is the question which has been bugging me a lot off lately….everyone who visits this blog and knows who has written it…comes and asks me…its irritating! why cant i just write wat i want to on a blog? for god sake its a blog…i can write whatever i want! cant i?

anyway sorry for being so rude! just irritated a bit!

had one of those irritated days again…woke up late again…bunked 2 classes…horrible lunch at mess…and loads of work to do..!!!

hmmm…emotions!

October 3rd, 2007! another weirder day…fought really hard to get up in the morning! was too lazy…but then wen u get a good morning greetin every day…it feels so nice and refreshing ! had a horrible day…fought hard to get off my mood from arbit thoughts…was a bit normal today…relatively!! i guess so….or u can say…was pretending hard to be normal..anyway leave this….its arbit…

btw i read this somewhere…really liked it…very beautifully phrased..

“Each day that passes by I come closer to the end
The time when we will say good-bye to what we had back then.

What I thought would make me happy is breaking up my heart
It’s a battle of emotion that’s tearing me apart.

I made a promise to myself that I intend to keep,
but how can I go on with this pain that is so deep.”

hmmm….emotions….they play a major role in each and every relations….and if they are lost…the relationship is dead..the worst part is wen u are caught in the storm of emotions…each one trying to rip your sole apart…each one trying to win the battle…its hard…its hard to fight with your emotions…but u have to…never try to let your emotions dominate your actions…its tough, but you have to fight…

one suggestion..which goes for me also….

whenever u are sad don let others noe about it…why do u want them to worry abt you unnecessarily… ya if u need help…ask for it…but don’t demand!! there are lot of ppl who get worried by your actions…they get disturbed, and if u care for them…fake ur emotions…!! try it out…it may work out!!

anyway m leaving…may write one more tonight…not sure….anyway till the next post…sayonara!

arbit – 1!

October 1, 2007. here goes my first arbit post! i m in one of those weird moods today…don want to talk to anyone…getting irritated by small small things…trying not to say things which can create misunderstandings wid friends..i don noe…just feel very weird!! irritated by myself…not able to concentrate on anything…just keep on thinking some arbit stuff…hmmm…does anyone have an answer to any of my weird questions?

1. why is it so tough to understand even the closest of your friends?

2. why do u feel lonely even when all ur friends are around?

3. why cant i be normal for sometime…? without any tensions…any idiotic thoughts…or feelings!

4. why does it happen that wen u get to noe things more than wat u should noe…ur mind forces u to believe it even wen u noe they are wrong…why do we always interpret things in the opposite way our heart thinks…?

5. why am i posting arbit posts here?